Lately, I've been thinking about trajectory. Like, career and life trajectory. I thought I about how I thought my career and life would be when I reached a certain age. I used to think I would hit this big windfall and then finally my career would take off and I'd be set for life. Instead, I'm actually working a regular day job and teaching private lessons while pursuing music in the time I make for it. I have hit some career highs and some serious lows, but they aren't the huge windfalls I thought they would be. Instead, they're little stackable moments that add up and help me figure the direction I want to go. Trying to force a windfall when life is unpredictable and humbling is almost laughable if it wasn't so frustrating. Lately, I've learned to release the titanic grip I have on my musical career expectations and just focus on making projects I can be proud of and want to share. I've accepted that the windfall may never come and that I just might be a regular degular person on this planet, doing their best to make things work.
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nurse, she's right here